Maternal Instinct (by Rebecca Bowyer)

When we went on lockdown (almost one year ago...), I signed up with Voracious Readers Only.  I really enjoy getting the emails every day about new and different books.  When I first signed up there were sooooo many books that sounded so interesting!  When this one, Maternal Instinct, popped up in my email, I knew I wanted to read it.

I stated in an earlier post that part of the reason why I took such a long break from doing any reviews was because I had two pregnancy losses.  When I got an email from VRO with this book, I hadn't gotten pregnant yet.  I was terrified - I live with endometriosis and for the last 17 years I have not known if I would be able to get pregnant.  

The day after I got my BFP (Big Fat Positive), I started to read this book.  While I read it, I would put my hand over my belly where my baby was growing.  This book made a much bigger impact on me because of its topic and because I could so personally connect with it.

I miscarried four weeks later.

 ____________________________________________________________

 Maternal Instinct (by Rebecca Bowyer)

Published by Story Addict (2019).

Intended audience: young adult or adult (this is based on my opinion as a secondary teacher).  This book uses accessible language.

https://www.storyaddict.com.au/ 

https://www.goodreads.com/rebecca_bowyer

I received a complimentary copy of the book from the author via Voracious Readers Only.

 

SUMMARY

The story takes place in a future Australia under a new political regime that is, in its own twisted way, striving to create a type of "equal" society.  This is a feminist dystopia that centres around themes of motherhood, reproductive rights, and personal choice versus societal expectations.  All young women are expected and forced to carry two pregnancies over three years under the National Procreation Service.

In this society, their Mater and Pater system is superior to "how things used to be".  It's supposed to be better than the time when women were expected to cook, clean, work outside of the home, and raise children.  It's supposed to be better than when children were ignored, beaten, or killed in their own homes by their own parents.  It's a society that exercises complete control over a woman's right to have reproductive choice and agency over her body, and has normalized this control by highlighting how society has benefited because of this control.

The story follows Alice and her biological daughter, Monica, who has just given birth to her first son, Oscar.  As the story progresses, you witness the characters as they begin to question and resist society's rules and expectations, and as they begin to grow as individuals that are faced with huge challenges that conflict with society.  Finally, you listen to the characters as they come to terms with what it means to be a mother, what their definition is of being a mother, and how their relationship with motherhood transforms.

TEXT-TO-TEXT CONNECTION

Voracious Readers Only compared this book to The Handmaid's Tale, Vox, 1984, and Brave New World.  

The Handmaid's Tale is pretty much my absolute most favourite book, with The Testaments being a close second - however, I know that there are other books that I really love as well.  I have started Vox but haven't finished it yet.  I read 1984 and Brave New World about 15 years ago and while I remember the big ideas, I don't remember the details.

Yes, this book definitely has some links to The Handmaid's Tale - both books pivot around reproductive rights being taken away from women in society, become institutionalized and normalized, and then are a huge major stepping stone in maintaining that "successful" and "equal" or "balanced" society.  Really, women's bodies are being controlled and commodified.

Vox... while I haven't finished it, I can speak (ha... if you've read the book or know the premise of it, you might get the humour of what I just typed) to the link made with this book.  Vox is about a society where women are not allowed to speak more than 100 words per day and they wear a bracelet that counts their words.  If you speak more words, you get zapped.  The more you speak, the bigger the zap.

The links to 1984 and Brave New World, well... those are amongst the absolute classics and pillars of the dystopian genre.  I think that link is relatively self explanatory.  

 

FINAL THOUGHTS

I think this was a really well crafted story.  It's very clear that Bowyer really considered the world that she wanted to bring you into - her world-building was very well done.  I really enjoyed the story line, I loved the conflicts, I loved the character transformations, and I loved the twists that made the story even more complicated.  Her characters became three-dimensional and interesting and realistic because of the conflict that she threw their way.  I really enjoyed getting to know them.  I honestly would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in this topic, especially if they enjoyed The Handmaid's Tale and are looking for something else in this genre.  

As a teacher... I think it would be great book to bring into the classroom.  I think that it would really alert young adults to injustices and it would allow for some magical class discussions and personal transformations.  Additionally, I think this book would open the door for discussing fundamental rights, especially reproductive rights.

RATING

Here is where I get frustrated.  As I said above, I really enjoyed the book.  But I hated the ending.  I hated it.  It's probably the most realistic ending, but honestly, after I closed my Kobo upon finishing, I was just mad.  I didn't feel like it fit with the character.  I don't know how else I would have changed the ending, but it just didn't feel like this ending fit with the rest of the book.  For that very reason, I had to knock off one star from 4 stars to 3 stars.  (Why not five stars?  Because again, a 5-star for me is exceptional and I am left wanting more.

3/5 stars 🌟🌟🌟

4/5 hearts  💛💛💛💛

22 Scars (by C.M. North)

A goal of mine is to write more succinctly.  Ok.  So.  Here's where I take my first stab at it.

 

I heard about this book from Voracious Readers Only and was immediately drawn to it - the cover, the description, and even the books that were suggested as similar peaked my interest.  Oddly, I hadn't even read the books that were suggested as similar, however, as a high school teacher, I have an interest in mental health issues, particularly when talking about teenagers.

22 Scars by C.M. North (2017)

Published by CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.

Intended audience: mature young adult or adult readers

https://cmnorthauthor.com/ 

C.M. North's GoodReads Page

This review is providing a trigger warning in response to the content of this book, which deals with self-harming behaviours, forms of abuse and assault, and suicide.

I received a complimentary copy of the book from the author via Voracious Readers Only.

SUMMARY

This book follows multiple characters and the relationships between them.  The main character, Amy, is a young teenage girl who is struggling with mental health issues and participates in self-harming behaviours.  Additionally, the book also follows some other unnamed characters and their journey together, known only by their pronouns. 

THOUGHTS & REVIEW

North's use of language is really beautiful.  It's not the most lyrical piece of literature I've ever read, but honestly, I was really impressed and drawn into the writing.  His use of descriptive language and relatively short but powerfully punctuated sentences make this book one that grabs you and immerses you.

The relationship between Amy and her father made me uncomfortable and I'm pretty sure that this was intentional.  Without those feelings of anger towards Amy's father, those feelings of intense frustration and anger and sickness make you feel for the characters - all of this going to show what a wonderful writer North is because he is able to bring that emotion out in you.  His characters aren't two-dimensional - they're real, they're tangible, and they're right there in front of you.

The book alternates between following two different stories.  Just as I was getting really into one of the stories, it would switch to follow another set of characters.  Each time, I learned more and more about the characters and kept wondering why they were being placed together side by side.  It made for an interesting and engaging read.  I looked for parallels and tried to find clues as to why North would place them together like this.

 
TEXT-TO-TEXT CONNECTION 

Voracious Readers Only suggested similar stories to this as 13 Reasons Why, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, All The Bright Places, and Girl, Interrupted.

Before I read 22 Scars, I read 13 Reasons Why because as a high school teacher, yes, I heard about the book after the Netflix series was released.  I read that 13 Reasons Why was being banned and forbidden to speak about in many high schools.  I read some reviews that said that it glorified suicide.  In my opinion?  Yes, it does.  (As a side note, I got increasingly disgusted with each subsequent season and then finally gave up after the first or second episode of the fourth season).

22 Scars is absolutely nothing like 13 Reasons Why, and in fact, that is insulting to 22 Scars.  While I did appreciate the voices in 13 Reasons Why, the only similarity between these two stories is the idea of mental health issues.  But 22 Scars goes so much deeper than 13 Reasons Why, which is more of a mysterious drama with little substance.  22 Scars makes you feel the characters' emotions.  There is a stark difference between these novels.

As for the other novels... well, I've seen the movie, Girl, Interrupted (pretty great acting done by Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie) and I have The Perks of Being a Wallflower on my bookshelf as part of my TBR pile.

FINAL THOUGHTS

You should buy this book.  Seriously, buy it, support the author, read it, and enjoy his beautiful writing.  This may be an uncomfortable read, and you may not like it because it's not a fun or easy or happy story, but it is the reality of so many people.  While you may have the option to not have to deal with something that makes you sad like this, know that not everyone has that same choice.  

We read to expand our horizons.  We read to learn.  We read to meet new characters, to interact with them, to learn from them, to go on a journey with them, and to see their perspective of their life's journey.  Well... that's why I read.  If that's why you read, you should get this book.

TEACHER THOUGHTS 

It would really depend on the age and group of my students, but I would not be against bringing this book into the classroom.  There is a lot here that you could definitely use in the classroom.  Some people would definitely say that this book wouldn't be appropriate for young adults, and it might not be, but it also is the reality of some students.  If it's inappropriate for them to read it, then it should be inappropriate for them to live it.  And if it is inappropriate for them to live it, then shouldn't you learn more about it so that you can help to get kids out of situations like that?

If you are a teacher, then you really should read this book.  Like, right now.

RATING

I really enjoyed this book, but it didn't have any extra wow for me, which knocks off one star.

I give it as many hearts as I can because North clearly put his heart into this story - it shows, and it definitely touched my heart.

4/5 stars  🌟🌟🌟🌟

5/5 hearts  💛💛💛💛💛

Extra ratings:

2 tears for sadness 💧💧

1 rainbow for hope 🌈   

 

The Miscarriage Map (Dr. Sunita Osborn)

Why Did I Read This Book?

I read this book because (as I stated in my previous post) I lost my first pregnancy to a miscarriage at 8 weeks.  I read this book last summer, but am feeling ready to review it now.

If you are reading this book because you are or have also gone through a pregnancy loss, I am so sorry.  You didn't do anything to make this happen, it is not your fault, and you do not deserve this loss and this pain.  I hope this book brings you some relief and some comfort like it did for me.  You are not alone.

 ______________________________________________________________ 

The Miscarriage Map: What to Expect When You are No Longer Expecting by Dr. Sunita Osborn. (2019). 

Independently published.

Intended audience: 

- Anyone who has gone through a pregnancy loss

- Anyone who knows someone who has gone through a pregnancy loss (and doesn't know what to do, say, how to help, etc.)

https://www.drsunitaosborn.com/ 

SUMMARY, THOUGHTS, & REVIEW

A "summary" does not feel like an appropriate way to start this review, but I am not sure what else to say.  This book does not summarize what it is like to go through a pregnancy loss, but it does go through many aspects of pregnancy loss.  Therefore, I am just going to do one holistic review.

I read this book late at night while curled up under a blanket on my couch and cried almost the whole time.  It was not that this book made me feel sad, on the contrary, it made me feel relief.  It made me feel like I wasn't alone.  Finally, I was reading words from someone who was being brutally honest and was saying absolutely everything that I was feeling.  

 

"This is a huge, hideous, terrible, painful, traumatic, and life-changing event and we deserve all the space in the world to acknowledge that." (p. 7)

 

Osborn starts with her own story of her two pregnancy losses.  I will fully admit that while I read about her second loss, I kept wondering how she went on, how did she survive after two losses? I felt so heartbroken after my first one, how could anyone continue with life after a second loss?  Never did I think that I would be experiencing this as well.  

Osborn is a psychologist, so her voice and her message are much appreciated and come out of the pages like a warm hug - seriously.  I often felt like she was talking to me there on my couch, like she was holding my hand and giving me all the permissions I needed.  I drank every word that I read and I remembered them when I had my second loss.  You better believe that I practiced almost everything she had suggested.  Her words were so powerful when I read them that they stayed with me throughout the second loss.

 

"Nothing makes sense.  Nothing is okay. (...) Your only job this month is to survive by whatever ways necessary." (p. 36)

 

These words... how powerful they were.  The permission.  I needed that permission to just survive and do what I needed to just get by.  I needed that twice.

She knows the pain herself and so reading her words make it so much more authentic.  When she said to avoid making huge life decisions and confronted me on my diving head deep into other things to distract myself... yeah, I had to stop and realize what I was doing.  Was I avoiding the pain?  Was I trying to work through it?  Was I just trying to make sense of my life? 

I loved, absolutely loved, her chapter on finding the right support you need and her commentary on the honestly shitty things that people will say to you after a loss.  If you know someone who has gone through a pregnancy loss, you should buy this book and read at least that chapter.  Realize the words that you are saying.  See the person in front of you who is going through hell.  Don't try to make them feel better.  Don't say, "you can always try again."  As Osborn says, Fuck the silver linings.

 

"So, I'm pissed.  I'm angry and I'm full of rage that I don't get to have that blissfully happy and relatively easy first pregnancy.  I grieve for myself and for all of those women who do not get to have the unfettered joy we were promised.  If I get pregnant again, I will be excited, but so very cautious in my excitement, and I grieve for myself and for you, dear reader, that we will not have the unemcumbered joy we may have had before our miscarriages." (p. 81-82)

 

I realized that there was now a before and an after.  My life before my miscarriage and my life after.  I even have an in between - in between pregnancy 1 and pregnancy 2.  

It was the above quote that made me cry the most.  Suddenly it became so real: I will never have another first pregnancy.  The moment that I saw "YES +" pop up on that digital test... I will never experience joy like that again.  I will never have another moment that I get to look at my incredible partner and tell him "I'm pregnant" with so much joy and happiness in my heart that I feel like I will burst.  I realized that if I was going to be lucky enough to have a second pregnancy then that moment of waiting for a second line will never be as joyous as the first time because it will be shadowed with doubt and anxiety.  Now I am unsure of how I will feel for a third time.

Pregnancy does not equal baby.  This has been one of the hardest lessons I've ever learned.  We lose so much when we lose our babies.  We lose so much when we go through this loss.  This book, however, gave me back so much.  It gave me back some power, some feeling of control, and some feeling of strength.  I can't thank Dr. Osborn enough for this book. 

I hope you never need to read it.

RATING

No questions about this.

5/5 stars  🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

5/5 hearts  💛💛💛💛💛

Extra ratings:

3 tears for sadness 💧💧💧

1 bicep for strength 💪

1 rainbow for hope 🌈    

1 fire... because I hope this book gives you back yours 🔥

Time heals. Sometimes.

Well.

I think it's pretty obvious that I have not kept up with my idea of reviewing books here.  I have kept up with my GoodReads account a bit better than here.  So why am I terrible at writing?  As much as I was a pretty intense little writer when I was younger and always loved writing and creating stories... as we get older, things get in the way.  Life gets in the way.  

About a year ago, my therapist suggested that I create a Vision Board.  I did.  I printed pictures of women writing in journals and typing on computers.  I printed pictures of music notes because I wanted to expand my music library and listen to more music - something that also used to be absolutely fundamental in my life, but over the last couple of years, it has become difficult to listen to, especially at times when I want to keep my mind occupied.  I have always had an emotional connection to music.  I printed pictures of women doing yoga because I wanted to start getting back into shape and wanted to feel physically strong again.  This was the one thing on the vision board that did come to fruition and has been a part of my life for the last year (except for a couple of times where I had needed to take a bit of a break... I'll get to that in a minute).

Writing can be hard.  It can be really difficult to do.  Like everything else in life, it is something that takes practice.  Writing in my journal is private and just for me.  Writing in a blog (even one that likely no one is even really reading) makes my writing accountable to someone else - and that's scary!  What I put out here stays out here.  Every word needs to be chosen carefully.

I lost my first pregnancy last summer, not long after my last review.  As intimate, as personal and as "private" of an experience as this is, it's so incredibly common.  I can't describe how alone I felt when I miscarried.  It was the most devastating, most heart-breaking, most difficult and most painful thing I have ever experienced.  What made it even worse was that I was going through this during the first few months of lockdown and so I couldn't be with any of my family (who I would need to get on a plane for several hours to be with).  It was an experience I would never wish on anyone.  

It took a few months until I started to finally feel like myself again - even though I was still far from being 100%.  I got pregnant again.  I was elated.  I felt complete.  And then at 10 weeks, a few days before Christmas, I found out that I had a blighted ovum - an egg that was fertilized but never started to develop into a baby even though my body went through all of the pregnancy symptoms.  My second deeply wanted pregnancy was over, just like that.

These scars do not heal and disappear, they stay there and they're always a part of you.  I hesitate to even call them scars.  Scars mean that you have healed over and are left with a reminder and really no more pain.  That is not my reality.  I live with grief every day.  Every single day.  Some days are good, some days are horrible.  

I will restart my blog, a new review, with the first book that helped me after my first loss.  I do not want to be silent.  I do not want to hide my story.  There are so many women out there who are grieving their babies and they are feeling alone, they are wondering how this happened to them, they are feeling emptiness and holes in their hearts, like they have been gutted, and they are feeling hopeless.  If you are reading this because you have gone through a pregnancy loss, I am so sorry.  You did not do anything to deserve this and you did not do anything wrong.  You're not alone. 

In Other News (by Dale Robbins)

Oh my.

I honestly have been reading - I just haven't been reviewing.  I can so easily get wrapped up in a new book and feel that by writing notes down I am spending time on that when I could be reading more and finding out what happens next.  I've actually read about 7 or 8 books since my last review.  I guess I know what I need to work on.

__________________________________________________________________________________

In Other News by Dale Robbins. (2019)

Published by Seventeen Press.

Intended audience: 16-18 years old (according to Amazon)

 https://dalerobbinsbooks.com/

This review is providing a trigger warning in response to the content of this book, which deals with sexual assault.

I received a complimentary copy of the book from the author via Voracious Readers Only.

SUMMARY

In Other News is a very emotional and realistic story, despite that it is a work of fiction.  The story is focused on a young gay man, Marlon, who recently survived being sexually assaulted by a straight male classmate.  We follow Marlon as he tries to restabilize his life while dealing with the backlash in response to his bravery by coming forward to name his attacker.  Marlon shows us how resilient survivors can be, and more importantly, how survivors are not victims.  It is an emotional journey alongside Marlon and his return to school, intense invasions of privacy, aggressive behaviour by his peers, difficulty in developing trust, victim-blaming and public criticism, and the trial.  This is a moving roller-coaster of a read, guaranteed to have you experiencing deep and raw emotions.  This book will make you question our world and our society. 

THOUGHTS & REVIEW

In all honesty, it is really difficult to write a review for this book that will actually do it justice.  Despite the pages of notes and thoughts I recorded as I read, it is not easy to formulate them into a coherent review that could possibly demonstrate the greatness of this book to you.

Robbins brings the characters to life in a way that is unique and comforting – and you come to know them almost as if they were your own friends.  The characters are truly one of the strongest parts of his book.  Anna is someone I would want to have as a friend because of her intense loyalty and ability to be there for Marlon when he needs her –and even when he doesn’t think he needs her.  She is a strong female character who owns her sexuality, which is something that is too often missing from young adult literature.  Robbins created layers of confidence and ownership in his characters that shone brilliantly – all things that should be modelled for teenagers and young adults today.

Robbins writes in such a way that I felt an actual physical reaction to how Marlon was treated by his classmates.  In between wanting to reach through my ereader and shake these people by the shoulders, I had a pit in my stomach as if I could feel Marlon’s stress and anxiety.  A horrible part of this is knowing that this isn’t really fiction – people who come forward after an attack will need to deal with how other people will not only not believe them, but judge them, talk about them behind their back, and make their lives hell – attacks, threats, verbal and/or physical assault – demeaning behaviour that continues to contribute to already existing trauma. 

This book demonstrates how when someone tries to move on with their life after surviving trauma, all of their actions are scrutinized.  Everything is questioned.  There is so much judgment placed on how someone moves on – their trauma becomes public knowledge and public property that is discussed, dissected, and dismissed.  Society decides how a victim “should” act, and if those actions do not fit into particular categories, then it must not have happened.

We learn at a young age to tell an adult, tell someone, when we have been hurt.  The person responsible for causing that hurt is supposed to face the consequences of their actions and receive some form of discipline.  So why doesn’t this happen?  Why does the one who got hurt have to be the one who continues to be hurt?

Finally, one of the most important parts of this book was addressing how people respond to others’ trauma by making “silver-lining” statements.  So often it happens that society will use someone else’s pain and experience as a springboard for getting dialogue to happen, for getting people to talk about “what happens.”  When you hear someone say, “well, at least this got people to talk about this”, remember that it came at the expense of someone else.  These are things that should already be talked about.  
 

CONNECTION

This book reminded me a little of Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson.  It follows the survivor after a traumatic event and shows us how there are many ways that survivors heal from their trauma.  It shows us how our society and peers respond to someone after reporting assault. 

It will make you think of the Me Too movement.  This book should make you think hard about what you know – or what you think you know about trauma.  If you cannot identify with Marlon and his journey, then you should be reflective of it.  If you can identify with him more personally, then I hope Marlon’s discovery of his own strength helps you find strength in yourself. 

TEACHER THOUGHTS

The book is easy to read, making it perfect for younger audiences (that is, high school age).  The reading level is entirely appropriate for young adults, age 14 and up (this is my professional opinion as a high school English teacher).  Robbins uses accessible language, making Marlon’s story available to a wide audience.

This is the kind of book that makes me want to write an entire unit to go along with it to encourage teachers to use this book in their curriculum.

There are many things that teachers look for when reading a novel before deciding how to teach it.  Apart from the incredible conversations that could emerge out of reading this book because of its topic, Robbins has provided teachers with a story that would allow students to understand the art of characterization.  Not only do we become acquainted with the different layers of the main characters, but we witness how even the minor characters are brilliantly dynamic.  Robbins expertly uses FAST (Feelings, Actions, Sayings, Thoughts) – instead of explicitly naming an emotion, we know how a character is feeling because of their facial expressions or how they move their body.

RATING

There is honestly no question about this.  If I need to explain to you why I rate this book the way I did, you clearly didn't read my entire review.

5/5 stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

5/5 hearts 💛💛💛💛💛

Extra ratings: 
1 tear for sadness 💧
1 bicep for strength 💪
1 rainbow for hope 🌈 

Pandemic (by Yvonne Ventresca)

Well, of course, it only seems fitting that the first book that I will review here is one based on a pandemic during the actual real-life pandemic going on right now. I actually first borrowed this book with my Amazon Kindle Unlimited subscription in January when I decided to re-try the subscription. (I had first tried Unlimited a few years ago when I was teaching in the North. It took a long time for mail to get to us and Amazon required a much higher minimum purchase to qualify for free shipping - and let me tell you, shipping was not cheap.) I was not super pleased or impressed by what was offered on Unlimited back then, but I will tell you that lately I have been pretty pleased with the number and diversity of books available on Kindle Unlimited. I am actually on the second book in a trilogy that I have borrowed with Unlimited and intend on reviewing them here, too.

Anyway.

According to her website, Yvonne Ventresca won/was nominated for the following awards:

• PANDEMIC won a 2015 Readers' Choice Award from Morris/Essex Health & Life Magazine
• PANDEMIC won the 2015 Atlantic region Crystal Kite Award from the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators
• PANDEMIC was shortlisted for the 2018 West Australian Young Readers' Book Award.

Published by Sky Pony Press.

_____________________________________________________________

SUMMARY
Pandemic is a young adult, somewhat realistic fiction story about a young teenage girl, Lil, who is faced with heart-wrenching obstacles and struggles during a flu-like pandemic. At first, Lil appears to be your average teen with anxiety and some social awkwardness - but there is something much deeper going on. When we meet her, she has already survived a traumatic event and is not the same person she used to be.  Her behaviour has not gone unnoticed by those around her. While others interpret her actions as being withdrawn and disinterested, these are classic symptoms of something else that is going on.

Lil's parents both leave for work - her mother travels overseas, and her father attends a conference on infectious diseases in another state. As the pandemic continues to quickly unfold, Lil becomes very aware of the danger that she is in and how this could impact her health and those around her. As conditions worsen, she begins to grow into herself as she becomes a strong leader who cares for others while putting herself at risk. As we learn more about her past and her experiences, we can truly come to appreciate how strong she is.

TEXT-TO-WORLD CONNECTION
I found myself to be chuckling aloud at various points in the story, simply because certain aspects of Lil's society during the pandemic were shockingly similar to what we have lived through the current COVID-19 pandemic. No, I don't find anything about pandemics or illness or death to be amusing or funny - it's just almost weird to read your own reality in a novel when you never thought that this would be the current reality.  I thought the two quotes below were extremely... on the nose.

"It's not that the world's going to end, exactly. But the future is too uncertain. I don't think we can guarantee that life will continue the way we expect." (pg. 32)

Tents are set up to handle the overflow of the overwhelming demand in the hospitals, retired health care professionals are asked to come back to work, and there is some debate about which "non-essential" businesses should close or stay open. While Lil's town becomes silent as everyone begins to quarantine, nature ends up being the only sound as Lil walks through her neighbourhood. The distribution of medication becomes a contested affair and only becomes available on the black market. Crime increases. A refrigerated truck is used as a temporary morgue. The term "social distancing" is used.  Frontline workers put themselves at risk by the very nature of their work and are not sufficiently protected. There is speculation of a second wave.

"Loss of business income and school days can be recovered," he said in a press conference earlier today. "Loss of life cannot." (p. 115)

FINAL THOUGHTS
Ventresca has done a really nice job at layering and weaving together a few different themes throughout this story to add some depth to the plot and the characters.  As a woman, I really appreciate how she has written Lil and how she has represented Lil's internal struggles as a survivor.  She has clearly done her research and demonstrated quite beautifully how surviving this trauma impacts multiple aspects of your life and that it is not always consistent.  Trauma is always there and it manifests itself differently in everyone. 

Ventresca has also succeeded at speculating the "what ifs" that emerge when we think about a pandemic.  Clearly, having read this during the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic, I can say with certainty that much of what she envisioned became truth.  This story is a nice "snapshot" of the perspectives of several individuals who are working together to support each other and do what they can in such a difficult situation.

As a teacher, I would absolutely use this book as a novel study in my classroom.  Not only would it appeal to teenagers (before COVID-19, and certainly after!) but it is written at a reading level that would be suitable for any year in high school.  The multiple themes would allow for students to identify with different aspects of the novel, which is what you need when getting teenagers to read.  Finally, Lil's experience would serve as an outstanding springboard for any teacher to discuss essential concepts and knowledge such as consent, power, and personal responses to abuse. 

As much as I enjoyed this book, I would rate it 3/5 stars ⭐⭐⭐ .
There wasn't anything wrong with this story, absolutely not.  I was not super riveted by the storyline even though I did enjoy reading it.  Unfortunately, I just did not get that feeling of "I can't put this book down!" 
I will, however, give it 4/5 hearts 💛💛💛💛.

Teacher/Educator Bonus!!!  
On the author's website (link below) there is a document available for educators that has 27 excellent questions or ideas to discuss.  If I were to teach a novel study with this book, I would absolutely use these 27 questions to help guide me in planning the unit as well as discussion questions or reflection writing questions in class.

Author's website:  https://yvonneventresca.com/index.html
Author's GoodReads site: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/317481.Yvonne_Ventresca

Beginnings

I have been an on-and-off blogger for the last 15 years or so. More "off" than "on." I have blogged to be part of a larger community, to share an experience in my life with others, to academically yet informally express thoughts and ideas, and to use as an outlet for something I want to learn more about. Writing and blogging has made me more accountable to something new I have wanted to try or learn more about.

My audience has varied depending on the purpose of the blog. I always had an audience in mind. For this blog, I do not have a particular audience in mind for now. For all I know, very few people will even read this - if anyone does at all. Therefore, for now, I am writing just for me.

Like many people, I have always loved reading. I love how reading fiction can sweep me up into a whole new world where I get to meet all these new people and envision their environment, learn more about the characters and what made them the way they are, and journey along their adventures with them. I love how reading non-fiction always teaches me something about life (as fiction does too, but there is a huge difference between reading fiction and non-fiction!), how it opens my eyes to actual lived experiences and shows me just how brave and courageous some people are, how some people have lived through something that is so incredibly different from my own life experiences.

One thing about blogging is that it is something that I have been thinking about re-starting for a long time. The first thought that would come to mind is how many people are already blogging and how they already have their accomplished audiences... so what do I have to offer when there are so many other folks that are far more experienced than me? What's the point in starting something when it's unlikely that I'll ever get a huge audience of followers like other bloggers or social media personalities?

Did I mention that I am a teacher? My job is to educate, to teach, to inspire, to build kids up, to find their strengths and weaknesses, to figure out a way to best reach them through explanation or play or experience, to determine where the blockages are in their learning so I can release them and watch the lightbulb turn on above their head. That's my job. That is what I am trained for. I'm good at it. I'd even say that I'm great at it. If a student ever told me that they did not want to try something new for the same reasons that I just listed above, I would tell them that is ridiculous. I would tell them that everyone needs to start somewhere. That accomplished bloggers and online personalities started with just one blog post, one video. I'd ask them if they are really looking for a huge audience (by the way, I'm not looking to be a hugely influential blogger here). I'd tell them, "who cares? Aren't you doing this for you?"

So.

With the coronavirus pandemic that has been going on for the last couple of months and has put me in quarantine for the last month, I have been wanting to read more. I have moved a lot in my life and throughout the many moves (that have included crossing provincial borders and a move that existed entirely of shipping my belongings in boxes through the postal system) I have left books behind. A few months ago, I repurchased many of the books that I have given away over the last decade and a half. I have been dying to reread them. I have accumulated stacks of other books - second-hand novels, books through my Raven Reads subscription, and digital stacks on my loaded Kobo and Kindle ereaders.

I want to read. I want to disappear into new worlds, learn new things, meet new people, experience new things, feel all the emotions, stretch my imagination... I want to get back in touch with and become reacquainted with characters that I met years ago and I want to explore their journey through new eyes again.

Maybe if I write about the books I am reading, maybe if I write a book review on each of these books as I (re)read them, then maybe I can at least feel as though I am sharing my experiences with someone else, even if there isn't anyone else reading this blog.